Neither here nor there

3 weeks to go!  I haven’t written for a few weeks because I keep changing my mind on what to write about.  Well, there is a lot going on so there is no wonder.  In all honesty, I’m all over the place!

I am really enjoying working with children again at Forest School.  My usual job means that I spend 3 days a week in local schools, in meetings or in an office.  The other 2 I get to work with children although my whole head is never in it.  There is always too much to think about, phone ringing and other staff and students to keep an eye on.  BUT… because Joe is spending this last term having a dry run at running the place and doing such a good job I have been able to work with children 4 days a week.  Not only that, I’m not spending all of the time thinking about management stuff so am able to give it my all.  I’m pleased to say that I haven’t lost it and I can still out run some of the kids!  I feel very privileged to have this opportunity in the last few weeks of work, it reminds me of all the reasons why I got into this line of work in the first place.

Apart from enjoying working with children again, work is actually quite hard for me at the moment.  Too many lasts!  Also, its like anything you love, its hard to let go of.  I think of it like a marriage heading for divorce.  You know its over and that it has to end. Trouble is, you have to stay living together for a year before you separate.  Not only this, during that year, you start to notice all of the things that you are going to miss when you go.  This doesn’t change the fact that its right to go, just a bit of an odd one to process.

Then there is the preparation for next year which I am please to say is going well.  Lots of orders coming in for furniture and I have some ‘handyman’ work booked in.  I have also booked myself a spot in a few craft and wood fairs and have started stock pilling items for that.  Mirielle and I have pretty much sorted all of the finances and I am confident that we will make ends meet. Despite everything going well in this area, I have been having a minor panic this last week.  I’m really not one to panic and I couldn’t even tell you what I’m panicking about.

My mood, thoughts, emotions and opinions change so often at the moment.  This is what change does, especially when you cant change straight away.  I am usually a deep thinker but I cant keep up with myself at the moment.

So, here is my learning of recent weeks….. Being reflective and thoughtful is a quality that I like about myself and one I value in other people. However, sometimes it doesn’t serve a good purpose and isn’t helpful.  Sometimes, when you know that things are unsettled and you cant change or improve your current situation, you just need to get your head down and get on.  Live in the moment, keep things simple and just enjoy.  Well, I’m trying!


One thought on “Neither here nor there

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